That being said, Penny Arcade is fucking terrible.
Seriously, it's the worst webcomic I've ever encountered (and I've read PVP - zing!). I can't even begin to comprehend how this comic has made it as far as it has. The creators host Child's Play? Like, playing with children? What? And PAX? Yeah, PAX Fudge maybe, 'cause that's how gay it is.
Anyway, to start things off, sort of an opening-house, if you will, I will critique some of the recent strips they've done, including their latest.
1)
Ugh. This strip is a complete mess. I don't even know where to begin. Oh I know, how 'bout the SHIT parts. Okay, first, the helmets! What the fuck is up with those helmets? They're changing based on the wearer's expressions! Why?? To make it funny or something?? Real helmets don't do that! Did the artist not realize this when he was drawing them or something? Gah!
Oh, and don't even get me started on the coffee mug. Once again, helmets! Storm Troopers can't drink coffee through their helmets! That mouth hole if for talking only. Such a gross oversight by such two supposedly loyal fans to the Star Wars franchise.
And the bitch on the right-- why does she look so weird?? She looks like she's crying or some shit. This strip is garbage.
2)
Jeeze lo-weeze. This strip's a catastrophe. The first two panels don't even have anything to do with the last frame. It's just some bitch hitting Solid Snake or Cobra Commander or somebody with a box. Like, what?? Oh, and "kuncha" and "krinch"?? Those aren't even real sound effects! I have never hit somebody in the face with a box and heard "kuncha!" And I've boxed many a faces, let me tell you.
And the third panel, when we FINALLY, after that long bullshit story arc before it, get to the main characters. And then what? Another story arc set-up! We find out that Gabe is a closet faggot, 'cause he ordered some glass mermaid or some shit. And then, instead of punching him in the face, Tycho asks him if he insured it! This entire strip is an abortion.
(Hehehehehe. Myeh.)
3)
Oh my god, what? What the hell is this strip? Why are two gamers out hunting? What, they think this is Duck Hunt or some shit? Some little faggy dog is gonna laugh at them every time they miss? Whatever, I only have three things to say about this strip.
One, what the hell is up with their faces in the first frame? "Ohh, we're far away, so our faces are FUCKED UP!" Mike's an idiot.
Second, why are they wearing life jackets in the woods? You only wear life jackets when you're FISHING, on a BOAT, you morons! I swear, Mike and Jerry think they can just churn out any ol' piece of shit from their buttholes and that people will eat it up. IF ONLY IT WEREN'T TRUE.
And finally, but not lastly, the last bit of dialogue. "Some animals do die from that, yeah."? What? Uh, hello but, excuse me if I'm wrong, but don't ALL animals die from that? Getting fucking shot? Yeah, bullets = die, always. This strip makes me want to pee blood, because it would be more enjoyable than reading this piece of garbage.
4)
Holy shit, look at that chick. She's so fucking hot. I wish that was my blood dripping down her lips, onto her breasts. I just wanna, like, wrap my hands around her long-ass neck and, like, squeeze it. Just, fuck, man! Look at 'er!
5)
Why in the name of ever-loving shit is EVE from Wall-E fucking some random bimbo? First of all, EVE is from the future, this chick is from the past. Second, EVE's a girl robot! Why would she be having sex with a girl human? Or a human at all? Plus, EVE doesn't have legs. That doesn't even look like EVE. This strip just fails on all levels.
6)
Okay, okay, hold up, let's see. The computer screen, instead of an error message, just says fucked, the old man is having a heart attack because Gabe is in close proximity to him, and Gabe's new computer is a box of crayons and an abacus?
Hehehe. That's actually pretty funny.
Anyway, Penny Arcade is Fucking Terrible, and I'll see you next strip.
4 comments:
lulz
Haha. At the start I thought you were serious. I was gonna get mad.
Yeah, penny arcade is terrible and stuff. Listen, it would be really cool if you could link to the actual strips that you are commenting on. I would find that useful.
So where is your work? So easy to call other people's work shit. Douche.
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